The Allusive Due Date

In my experiences of having children, there is a guessing game that accompanies my due date.  With our first one, she actually came early (bless her), the next two hit the due date right on, and the following two came after the due date.

I recently talked to someone who ask when my baby was due.  I said, "Oh, 2-3 weeks."  And she replied, "Oh, so any minute now."  No, I wanted to say, it will be either on time, or late, probably the latter.  I was trying to be polite by not commenting, but I loose my sense of politeness the last month of pregnancy...or the last few months or pregnancy.

Anyway, I've thought about this due date, and here are several things that annoy me.

1.  I don't think anyone tries to make me feel this way, but I do.  I feel incompetent as a women when I can't have a baby on time.  So, they give you this due date, and in your own mind, your always thinking, well I can go to that date.  Then, I don't.  So, the next few days, I'm always wondering, what the heck is wrong with me.  And the feeling is justified when I have good intentioned people who call and ask if anything is happening.  Or, very annoying people, who at social gatherings say, "You still here?!", "Hasn't that baby come yet?"  "You look like you're going to pop!"  Uhhhg.  Yes, I feel like a failure because the baby has not come yet, thank you for letting me know your thoughts also.

2.  Now, I could just be induced, or even if I had C-sections, that would take out this whole guessing game.  I have my reasons for not being induced, which would take up a lot of time.  But, the point is that with a lot of women being induced or having c-sections, more women can have a baby "on time" and accomplish the important task of reaching their due date, which makes me look like something is wrong.  Again, my own lack of promptness comes to hit me in the face.

3.  Women who can have healthy babies up to 3 weeks early are lucky, I'll not deny it.  I have a friend who, for her first 3 children, had them 3 weeks early.  On her fourth, she said she was about to die because the baby came only 1 1/2 weeks early.  Poor woman.   But, it was what she was used to.  That is probably the only comfort with this baby is that I'm fully expecting the baby to come late.

4.  So, my doctor walks in yesterday and says, "Well, you're about there.  Any day now."  No, I remind him of my history and say I'm not expecting anything.  He says, "Well, you should be more optimistic."  I've been optimistic, and it always leaves me anxious, exasperated, then I have an emotional breakdown.  I prefer realistic.  But, even my doctor is convinced I should have a baby on time, which puts more pressure on me...and increases my feelings of incompetence.

This is probably pointless writing this out.  I can only change myself to be a little more pleasant when I am in the last month of pregnancy.  I remind myself, I am very lucky to have pregnancies with few worries that result in healthy babies.  I am always grateful for the miracle of birth and to have a sweet little infant in my arms, there is no comparison.  I am reminding myself that not "everyone" thinks less of me for my babies getting comfortable in me and wanting to be in there as long as possible.  I will be happy to have this baby before Halloween, which gives her a good couple of weeks after the expected date.  Still, I might not answer the phone or choose to go to anything social for those weeks.  I am still pregnant, and the final comforting thought is, people do give you some leeway when you go over your "due date".